Santa – The King of Hearts
Santa has as many aliases as he has origin legends; Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, Grandfather Frost and Saint Nicholas to name but five.
In his incarnation as Odin the Norse god, his helpers' sacks were used to catch naughty children. (Those were the days…)
As Saint Nicholas of Myra he gained a reputation for generosity after donating dowries to penniless brides, so saving them from a life of prostitution - which perhaps explains why, in addition to children, pawnbrokers, sailors, fishermen, the falsely accused and repentant thieves, he's also the patron saint of prostitutes. However, bridge players are not part of his remit.
The Pack once debated who should be their rightful patron. Dedi's vote went to the gambling addict Saint Camillus of Lellis, three cards of a literal bent, voted for Saint John Nepomucene, the patron of bridges. But the winner by a landslide was Saint Balthasar – the patron saint of playing card manufacturers.
The bridge table was the only place where Santa didn't give presents.
| Game All, Dealer West | Putto | ||
| ♠ AJ | |||
| ♥ J65 | |||
| ♦ 10 | |||
| ♣ A987642 | |||
| Sun-Tzu | Debbie | ||
| Santa | |||
| ♠ 9862 | |||
| ♥ K4 | |||
| ♦ AKQJ984 | |||
| ♣ --- | |||
| West | North | East | South | |
| Sun-Tzu | Putto | Debbie | Santa | |
| 3♥ | Pass | Pass | 4♦ | |
| Pass | 5♣ | Pass | 5♦ | |
| End | ||||
Sun-Tzu led the three of spades and Putto tabled his hand. See if you can match Santa's thoughts before reading his story.
From the contented looks of my opponents, even our barman would recognise the lead as a singleton. So unless I want to make a present of the first three tricks I better play the ace. Now I'm wishing I'd risked Putto bidding clubs and tried 3NT instead of 4♦.
Since it's probable west holds the ace-queen of hearts I have four losers, even after discarding on the ace of clubs. A singleton queen of hearts with Debbie would bring it down to three, but even with that microscopic chance, it's still one too many.
Clearly I must do something with the clubs. I can play the ace and ruff a club, return to dummy with the ten of diamonds and ruff another club, then draw trumps. Provided the suit breaks 3-3 I'll have plenty of winners. The problem is, by that point there's no entry to dummy.
Light is beginning to dawn, Sub-Tzu will have nothing but hearts left, so I can play the king in the position below and after taking the ace and queen West will be forced to give dummy the lead.
| Putto | |||
| ♠ --- | |||
| ♥ J65 | |||
| ♦ --- | |||
| ♣ 987 | |||
| Sun-Tzu | Debbie | ||
| ♠ --- | ♠ KQTxx | ||
| ♥ AQxxxx | ♥ x | ||
| ♦ --- | ♦ --- | ||
| ♣ --- | ♣ --- | ||
| Santa | |||
| ♠ 98 | |||
| ♥ K4 | |||
| ♦ 98 | |||
| ♣ --- | |||
There's just one fly in the ointment, or Psocoptera Liposcelidae in the pasteboard, as we are wont to say. Sun-Tzu's a brilliant tactician and quite capable of ducking the king of hearts, which will leave me with three losers and no way to reach dummy! This is one of those unusual situations where I'd prefer to lose a trick than win it! Perhaps if I was one of the Club suit magicians I could make myself vanish.
Of course! It's simplicity itself. All I need to do is to discard the king of hearts on the ace of clubs. These will be my last six cards, and when I lead the heart Sun-Tzu will have no defence.
| Putto | |||
| ♠ --- | |||
| ♥ J65 | |||
| ♦ --- | |||
| ♣ 987 | |||
| Sun-Tzu | Debbie | ||
| ♠ --- | ♠ KQTxx | ||
| ♥ AQxxxx | ♥ x | ||
| ♦ --- | ♦ --- | ||
| ♣ --- | ♣ --- | ||
| Santa | |||
| ♠ 986 | |||
| ♥ 4 | |||
| ♦ 98 | |||
| ♣ --- | |||
Sun-Tzu, who had been counting, shuffled his cards and replaced them in the wallet as the four of hearts hit the baize. With a nod of approval towards Santa, and an apology to Debbie for not leading the ace of hearts, he wrote minus 600 on his scorecard.
The full deal:
| Putto | |||
| ♠ AJ | |||
| ♥ J65 | |||
| ♦ 10 | |||
| ♣ A987642 | |||
| Sun-Tzu | Debbie | ||
| ♠ 3 | ♠ KQ10754 | ||
| ♥ AQ109873 | ♥ 2 | ||
| ♦ 52 | ♦ 763 | ||
| ♣ Q105 | ♣ KJ3 | ||
| Santa | |||
| ♠ 9862 | |||
| ♥ K4 | |||
| ♦ AKQJ984 | |||
| ♣ --- | |||
Unfortunately Santa was called away on urgent business and he disappeared just as the pack's Christmas party was about to start - which sadly meant he missed the arrival of Father Christmas with his traditional sack of presents for the pack.
Psocoptera Liposcelidae - Booklice.
Mike Chanter
This sequence of articles was written and conceived by Mike Chanter.
Mike has been a member of Suffolk for a long time despite no longer living in the county and retaining his connection by being an associate. He still has many friends in Suffolk and returns from time to time to play in local events. He would be delighted to hear your impressions of Bridge in the Cupboard.