Alice – The Two of Spades
When Alice wasn't falling down rabbit holes or stepping through a Looking-glass, she was playing or studying Bridge. Alice ate, slept, breathed, walked and talked Bridge. The sad truth though was, for all her efforts, she was not the best of players.
The problem was partly due to nerves. If it was a difficult hand or an important game, she would get flustered and make elementary mistakes. Nevertheless, her sweet smile and earnest entreaties for advice meant she was a popular partner amongst the pack, and no one could be cross with her for more than a second or two.
E/W Game, Dealer West.
| Charles | |||
| ♠ A86 | |||
| ♥ --- | |||
| ♦ A10654 | |||
| ♣ QJ943 | |||
| Confucius | Romeo | ||
| Alice | |||
| ♠ 52 | |||
| ♥ 10852 | |||
| ♦ 72 | |||
| ♣ AK872 | |||
| West | North | East | South | |
| Confucius | Charles | Romeo | Alice | |
| 1♥ | 2NT1 | 4♥ | 5♣ | |
| Pass | Pass | Dbl2 | All Pass |
1. Unusual No-trump.
2. Opponents often doubled Alice to make her nervous.
A conventional auction landed Alice in five clubs doubled. Confucius led the king of diamonds which Alice took in dummy. A sixth sense told her that it would be a good idea to ruff diamonds. So she played a second round of the suit, but to her surprise Romeo ruffed and played the trump six. West discarded a heart on the club return and Alice took the trick in dummy.
Curiouser and curiouser! Now why did Romeo do that? I hope I haven't messed up already. "Look before you leap," everyone tells me, but I always forget and play too fast. It's an odd saying that; I wonder what it was they leapt over*, (leaped… leapt… leaped?) in the olden days.
Anyway, I'm wishing I'd done the arithmetic at trick one. In one of Charles's, or should I say Lewis's stories, the queens made fun of my maths. Who cares what's left when you take a bone from a dog? We all know it's not proper mathematics. And besides I'm sure the answer given is wrong, the correct answer is "a dog with a limp." Though Bridge is different, in Bridge it's all proper maths.
I've two tricks so far and I need eleven so that leaves… nine to find.
| Charles | |||
| ♠ A86 | |||
| ♥ --- | |||
| ♦ 1065 | |||
| ♣ QJ43 | |||
| Confucius | Romeo | ||
| Alice | |||
| ♠ 52 | |||
| ♥ 10852 | |||
| ♦ --- | |||
| ♣ AK87 | |||
The ace of spades is one, there's no hope of a trick in the red suits, so I need eight from clubs. Since I've only eight clubs left, I'll have to make them separately by crossruffing. So I can't afford to draw Romeo's last trump. Now I see what he was about - he was drawing two of my trumps for one of his, two-for-one as they say, but not like in the supermarket.
Alice ruffed a diamond, ruffed a heart, ruffed a diamond and ruffed a second heart.
| Charles | |||
| ♠ A86 | |||
| ♥ --- | |||
| ♦ 10 | |||
| ♣ QJ | |||
| Confucius | Romeo | ||
| Alice | |||
| ♠ 52 | |||
| ♥ 108 | |||
| ♦ --- | |||
| ♣ AK | |||
This is going well. Another diamond ruff, heart ruff, then…Oh no! I can't get to my hand to ruff the last heart. Err… Ah yes, after I lose a spade trick I can get to hand by ruffing the third round of the suit. No wait! That's no good. Romeo will win the spade and play a round of trumps to leave me a trick short.
White rabbits! I'm sure Socrates would make the hand by some clever play like throwing the ace of spades away or throwing a spade from my hand.
That's it! Shelves above, that's it! I think I'm going to make this contract. I play the ten of diamonds from dummy and, instead of ruffing, all I have to do is throw my name card, that's the two of spades. Confucius will win the trick but, whatever he returns, I'll be able to win the ace of spades and crossruff the other four tricks.
For once, the play went as Alice expected and even her opponents enjoyed seeing how happy Alice was to have made a difficult contract.
The full deal:
| Charles | |||
| ♠ A86 | |||
| ♥ --- | |||
| ♦ A10654 | |||
| ♣ QJ943 | |||
| Confucius | Romeo | ||
| ♠ J94 | ♠ KQ1073 | ||
| ♥ AQJ43 | ♥ K976 | ||
| ♦ KQ983 | ♦ J | ||
| ♣ --- | ♣ 1065 | ||
| Alice | |||
| ♠ 52 | |||
| ♥ 10852 | |||
| ♦ 72 | |||
| ♣ AK872 | |||
* One early meaning of "Look before you leap" is an admonition to take care in the selection of a bride.
John Heywood's A dialogue conteinyng the nomber in effect of all the prouerbes in the Englishe tongue, 1546:
And though they seeme wives for you never so fit,
Yet let not harmfull haste so far out run your wit:
But that ye harke to heare all the whole summe
That may please or displease you in time to cumme.
Thus by these lessons ye may learne good cheape
In wedding and all things to looke ere ye leaped.
Mike Chanter
This sequence of articles was written and conceived by Mike Chanter.
Mike has been a member of Suffolk for a long time despite no longer living in the county and retaining his connection by being an associate. He still has many friends in Suffolk and returns from time to time to play in local events. He would be delighted to hear your impressions of Bridge in the Cupboard.